International Stumblings of a Moneyless Idle

Lazily making his way through the world




Valencia is a city without many superlatives. It is the 3rd biggest city in Spain by population, 2nd biggest on the Mediterranean. It is 3rd in Spain by square meters. It is not the hottest, coldest, driest or wettest. It has one of but not the biggest public parks in the country, the same can be said for its beach. It is neither the wealthiest or the poorest and has arguably the 4/5th biggest football team.

Valencia is not a city which tops many fact based lists but it is one that sits at the top of many an opinionated one. Ask anybody that has spent time in the city and they will speak highly of it. This is because it has a little something for everyone. The sunbathers go to the beach, the partiers go to the clubs, the foodies go to the paella restaurants and the shoppers head to the center.

Valencia is an amazing holiday destination but it’s an even better place to live. While Madrid and Barcelona are big and fat enough to swallow you up, Valencia is just right. (The city has nearly half the population of Barcelona.) It’s a big city, 800,000 people, but them people are spread across a large area. Its 6 miles from city center to the furthest end of the massive Malverrosa beach. This means you’re never too far from a gap in the urban sprawl. The biggest of which is the 9 kilometer long public park which sits in the old river bed, cutting through the city. El Jardines del Turia is a beautiful park of many different habitats, playgrounds, sports fields and ponds. The unmortised highway, I called it. There are not many cities where you can go from one end to the other without even crossing a road. Most Spanish cities are not the most bike friendly. They try to be but cycle lanes are often ignored or neglected. In Valencia that isn’t the case. The city is flat and bike lanes can take you to any part of it, obviously the park helps out here too. This is why the city has one of the most popular city bike facilities.

If you travel to the far end of the park you reach the City of Arts and Sciences. A project stooped in controversy because of its high maintenance and building coasts. It is truly a unique, futuristic and oddly relaxing place though. A garden above the project and an underground car park built into its side transform into serial, fantastical and undoubtedly cool nightclubs of an evening. Umbracle and Mya are just two of many you can find throughout the city, creating a constantly buzzing nightlife.

If you are one for a party, Valencia also has one of the biggest and craziest fiestas in a country full of big and crazy fiestas. Las Fallas, the festival of fire; where mascletas deafen your ears in the daytime sun, grand, skillfully crafted monuments pop-up in every crossroad and plaza just to be set alight in a blazing fire in the night of the last day, all while the city descends into a chaotic party.

Many people leave the city for Las Fallas. Too loud, too much. Many quieter people may also not enjoy the lively nights. On the other hand, if you are a big city person, Valencia might not feel like enough and only Madrid or Barcelona can satisfy your needs. If you are anywhere in the middle, you’ll enjoy Valencia.

#pontdelmar #bridgeofthesea #Valencia crossing the old river turned park. #jardinesdelturia

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Caught Red Handed

As well as a change of job, I had also changed my dwellings for my last two weeks of Valencian summer. Not once but twice. I had told all the staff at the hostel that I was leaving but staying in the city for a couple of weeks. Alex, one of the Aussie activity guys said he had a spare room in his house that I could have till the end of the week. It was just around the corner of the hostel, right next to the Torres de Quart; one of the two remaining 14th century city gates. Serrans Gate is the touristy one, restored to full spender, it sits in an open area next to the park at the end of one of the old towns busiest streets. Torres de Quart is the battle scarred gate, inconspicuously looming at the end of a quiet road covered in cannon ball holes and blows left by the Napoleonic Wars. Apartments in most major cities which live in quiet, central streets next to major monuments are normally very expensive. In Spain that isn’t the case. You can have a cheap, central flat on a pretty road for ten times less than in England. I’m not exaggerating.

The flat I stayed in the following week was Marcella’s. A Colombian Canadian who I had met through the German friend I’d met at a Couch Surfing event. Marcella was a jovial, wholehearted person volunteering at a nursing home. She had once tried to teach me how to dance to Latin music; I was a slow learner. There wasn’t any drama in Marcella’s flat in the modern North of the city. Well not until the very last moment anyway. I had a sofa-bed in the entrance parlor that would have been very uncomfortable had I not been tired at the end of each day.

Alex’s was quite different. I’m not sure what happened to Atlas. I know that she had been seeing a Spanish guy in Madrid and had continued to reiterate that we should talk less, but two days into me living at Alex’s flat she decided to visit. I asked if it was cool for her to stay and he brushed it aside, “of course”. I was staying in a free room he had; Atlas arrived, she was very happy and very prurient. We court up in my spare room before leaving the house for a drink. We quickly returned though as, well, when in company. I had a message on my phone from Alex when we got back. He was asking me to move our things into the room next door as the landlord might arrive to show the room to someone. He said that the room was free. I took that as the room was available to use as I had the last but when we moved our things in, it seemed very much occupied. I sent a text to confirm its availability and he replied, simply: “Sure”. Given Atlas’ unexpected, welcome visit we dived into the room. It was a hot sticky summers day. In midst of things there was the noise of someone entering through the front door, the sound of a suitcase. I leapt off the bed and blocked the door just as someone tried to push it open.

“Hello?” a female voice asked confused.

Me and Atlas looked to each other fearfully.

“Just a minute.”

We had taken the precaution of removing the sheets from the bed. We quickly returned them over the sweaty mattress, threw on our clothes, took a deep breath and hid our smiles the best we could. The girl, quite confused, sat awkwardly in the kitchen. She took it well enough. She didn’t seem happy about it but who would? We quickly left her to enter her room, smells of us surely lingering unpleasantly. I slept my last two nights on the sofa in the front room.

#torresdequart torre medieval que rodeaba el casco antiguo de la ciudad de #valencia

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Free Food, Botellón and Skinny-dipping.

#belltower #elmigelete of #valenciacathedral #valencia the bell weighs 7514 kilos!

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The next few weeks went by very quickly. Two of the most enjoyable I had that summer in Valencia. It wasn’t all because I’d stopped working at the hostel but that was a big part of it. The new job was; not like a job. On Monday we walked with students down to the beach where I played some volleyball with them before heading back. On Tuesday and Thursday we took them on tours of the city center and on Wednesday I had six 15 minuet conversations. (Ann did the tour, I just came along and chatted). After the tour we would allow the students 30 minutes to wonder about the center while we and the other conversation partners had a quick beer. At the end of each activity we would have to go to the canteen in the student’s residence to eat with them, to me this just meant free food. The canteen buffet wasn’t great but my diet that summer had been awful.

For two weeks that was my job in Valencia: beach, talking, walking and free food. My workmates were a laugh too. One was an older Canadian guy who was in-between jobs, the other two were English and around my age. One, a tanned, confident boy who looked like he had been doing the job for years asked where I was from. Being used to no one knowing my small hometown of Telford, I said:

“The West Midlands.”

“Me too” he said “Where in the West midlands?”

“Shropshire” I said.

“No way, me to. Where?”


“Me too.”

In a job that employed native English speakers from all over the world, I was working, in a group of 4, with a guy from Telford. I came from an area called Ketley bank, he was from neighboring Ketley. He had also been to the same collage as me at the same time as me, just the year above. I was surprised I hadn’t recognized him, Telford’s not a big place. They were good guys, on the Thursday, both Thursdays, I went out with non-Telford Jon (They were both called Jon).

The first Thursday, we had met the students during a botellón next to the beach. To the delight of Jon who could introduce me to the concept, this would be my first experience of a botellón. Botellón translates as big bottle and all it is, is a bunch of people who gather in a public place and drink supermarket alcohol. Its ‘predrinks’ but Spanish style. From what I can tell, every city has a selected botellón spot. A place where people drink and the police turn a blind eye. I’m not sure what happened after the big bottle but I remember how it ended. Me, Jon and about 8 of the uni students stripping to our underwear and jumping in the sea. I was told the following week that this is deemed unacceptable.

In terms of the job, I was enjoying it and looking forward to continuing in Cartagena after my graduation. There, I was told that I’d be a “conversation partner coordinator”, earning a hundred quid more a month. All was looking pretty rosy.

Looking West from #micalet tower of #valenciacathedral #valencia

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Conversation Partner 

#plazadelavirgen looking at the #micalet Tower of #valenciacathedral #valencia

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That Sunday I finished my final shift at the hostel, I had no party, no cake but I really didn’t expect one. If the hostel staff had a celebration every time someone left then there would be one every week. Also, it wasn’t my last day living in the hostel. I was allowed to stay for free for two more days before they would kick me out. After, I was going to move into one of the pub crawl Aussie’s houses until the end of the week. He lived 3 minutes away, just around the corner, I wasn’t going anywhere fast.

Before starting work for Berlitz I had ironed out the details of where and for how long I was working. They had offered me positions in Valencia, Madrid, Sevilla and Cartagena; the last of which I knew nothing about. My mind worked like this as I made my decision: I had spent a very pleasant 2 months in Valencia but this was an opportunity to go somewhere new. Madrid was where Atlas was and I really thought it wouldn’t aid my emotions and our separation if I went and lived in her city. Sevilla, I had been told, was Spains hottest city and although it was a place I would really like to visit, I didn’t really want to work in such sweltering conditions. That left the obscure Cartagena; a seaside city in the region south of Valencia, Mercia. That short description and the fact it was home to some impressive remains of a Roman amphitheatre, was all I knew of Cartagena when I decided it would be the next city I would live in. Little did I know at the time but that decision would end up saving my Spanish adventure.  There was another reason for choosing Cartagena. 3 weeks from then I had my graduation ceremony for my university back in Falmouth. I had always intended to go but because the Cartagena job didn’t start until the week after, it meant I wouldn’t need to take any time off. The plan was: work for 2 weeks in Valencia, bum around for a week (I hadn’t quite decided what to do), go back to Falmouth for 3 days, graduate, fly back to Spain to start a 2 and a half month contract in the unknown town of Cartagena.

I went to start the new job on the Monday full of optimism. Before I arrived I knew 3 things about the job: It was fewer hours (4 ½ hours instead of 7), less days worked (4 days instead of 5) and more money (550 a month instead of 100). Apart from that I knew nothing about what a conversation partner was or did. I arrived and was greeted by the “head of conversation partners” Anna, outside. She was sitting down at a table furiously puffing on a cigarette and sipping a coffee. From the moment she started talking I could tell she was a character. She had an energy which she seemed to only just keep controlled, she was constantly smiling, not a fake smile but genuine and she had a childish youthfulness even though she was probably around 50 years old. She explained, extremely casually, that our roles as conversation partners were to keep the students entertained, but more importantly, speaking English after they had finished their lessons. The students were all university goers on a 5 day intensive course. Anna explained that the way we kept them speaking English and enjoying themselves was simple. We took them to the beach, took them on tours of the city centre and had little chats with them. That was the job.

If it sounds easy or good fun, that’s because it was. For the entire time I worked as a conversation partner, I never felt like I was working. All the students were around my age so I’d always be able to have a laugh with them. They all wanted to go for drinks with you on a Friday. Let’s face it, gong to the beach isn’t work. Working as a conversation partner just felt like a good way to spend my time while I was in Spain and nothing you would consider “a job”.


#dooroftheirons of #valenciacathedral #valencia

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Hostel Life

The #medievalmarket in the early morning. #elcarmen #valencia from #backpackershostel

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Working, living at the hostel had been, all in all, a pleasant experience. It wasn’t what had been advertised and you had no privacy but it had been a great departure point to help cast me off on my overseas life. I met a lot of interesting, outgoing people, especially in the first few weeks, the staff were friendly and it was cool being able to live smack-bang in the middle of Valencia’s oldest district “Carmen”. The pub crawls, which were extended from 6 nights a week to 7, meant I always had a chance to let off some steam with the crazy, Aussie lead group who ran the activities. Most of the time I would just go to the first bar where the drinks were free and then go home. I only ever made it to the big night club at the end of the crawl if it was a particularly good group and I could make myself turn a blind eye to the amount of money I would spend on drinks getting there.The only two nights a week I couldn’t go on the crawl were the two I worked. Even the night shifts I began enjoying. I ran the hostel on those nights and I often didn’t have any problems. Only once in my 2 and half month tenure did I have to call the management back because a Spanish guy refused to believe the hostel was full.

On the morning shift, which was my most common, I had to wake up early to get the croissants from the small bakery 5 minuets walk from the hostel. I’d walk through the old town as it was still waking up; no tourists or trinket salesmen to disturb the scenery as I walked to the back door of the yet to open bakery. The smell of the freshly baking pastries wafted out to relieve the senses of the early morning sewer smell. The hairy armed baker would grunt and pass me a tray half full with croissants, half pain au chocolat, I’d always steal one while they were warm.

After returning to the police station, this time armed with my Spanish speaking German friend, I was ready for another day of Spanish Bureaucracy. It wasn’t to be. To my amazement I went through to the office and was told the number I had on a piece of paper was my NIE and all I had to do was pay for it at a bank. After all that waiting, walking and box checking, I hadn’t even known that the task had been completed. Later that day I approached the hostel boss, an Argentine lady who everyone feared and who apparently hated men. I told her that I would be finishing at the end of the week as I didn’t have the cash to continue working there. She took it well enough, the staff turn around at the hostel was ludicrously frequent, and with that, my hostel life would soon be over.


Spanish Bureaucracy

I can’t remember who exactly recommended it to me but I started looking at the professional job search site Lingo Bongo. Lingo Bongo is a site for people looking for teaching jobs in Madrid, Barcelona or Berlin. After a small scan through that days entries I found a job ad for a position not in Madrid, Barcelona or Berlin but Valencia. It was with the same company that the sunburnt, sangria drinking guris worked for; Berlitz. The job ad wasn’t for a teaching position but as a “conversation partner”, whatever that was. I sent an Email and sure enough I got a reply.

Are you in Valencia?  

Yes. I replied.

Can you start in a week and a half?


Great, all we need is your NIE.

What’s that?

NIE stands for ‘Número de identidad de extranjero’ or ‘foreign identity number’ and you need one to work legitimately in Spain. As I was only technically volunteering at the hostel I hadn’t needed one so far. My contact at Berlitz, Yolanda, who was very nice and very helpful, sent me instructions on how to get it. I printed out the form, filled it in with the help of some of the Spanish speaking hostel staff, made the recommended 3 copies of every other document I had and off I went. This would be my first encounter with Spanish bureaucracy which to this day is by far my least favourite part of living in Spain.

First I had to go to the ayuntamiento (town hall) to get an official residency certificate. For this I needed some proof that I was living in a building in Spain. The only document I had with a Spanish address was my hostel work contract that said I was living in the wrong hostel. I gave the stern looking lady at the ayuntamiento this document to which after several seconds of bewilderment looked unimpressed and handed it back.

“No, no. Bill, bill”

“No bill” I replied in perfect English. “Hostel” and pointed at the address.

She reluctantly took the paper from me, grumbled, printed and stamped a new document and ushered me out.

This piece of paper, for an entire year, would state that my official residence in Spain was a hostel I never actually lived in.

I took my official document and headed for the police station, because where else would you expect to get a tax number? Here I was taught about rule 1 of Spanish bureaucracy: all civil buildings are only open at specific, short periods of time. This includes banks, government buildings and the like. You better be free between 10 and 2 otherwise your screwed. The next day I tried again. I walked to the small, squat building which looked like a windowless American diner surrounded by barred, metal fencing, and went inside. I walk in and it’s packed, people are overflowing out the door. I am told to take a number and am directed into a small stuffy room crowded with sweaty people peering up at a little screen displaying numbers. I shared the room with a few other foreigners and a large group of depressed looking natives. Every 5 minuets or so a noise would sound and one would get up and scuttle into an office. I waited, unable to go for a coffee as the numbers weren’t called chronologically, for 40 to 45 minuets. Eventually I was called through. A lady took my documents, asked me a few questions in Spanish and smiled at my non understanding. Then, the lady looked at my documents asked me a few questions in Spanish and smiled at my non understanding. This repeated once more before she stamped a sheet, wrote a number and sent me on my way. I had no idea what just happened. I just took my sheet and followed my instructions.

At the next building, yes there is another building, I took a form, filled it out, took a number, waited, was called to a desk, had my previously hand written number typed into a new document which of course was stamped. It was then 2 o’clock and I still had to return to the police station. That would have to wait.

#spanishbanks open for nobodies convenience.

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The seemingly endless #malvarrosa beach in #Valencia

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The next few weeks were quite entertaining, some of the staff changed at the hostel, not necessarily for the better but it did introduce new faces. My almost daily runs in blistering hot heat ment that I was fitter than I had been in a long time and my diet had improved a little as I knew a bit more about the small amount of vegetarian options in Spain. My financial situation remained unchanged and I didn’t really know where to look for jobs.

Atlas came to visit Valencia for a weekend sometime around this time, I hadn’t shaken her from my mind so I anticipated her arrival eagerly. She was not only visiting me though, she was also meeting with a friend of hers from her first year at uni who was working in the city. I met her, Atlas and another English guy who also worked in Valencia. He was fresh back from the massive music festival Benicàssim with sun burn and hangover intact.

Spaniards have a name for the typical sunburnt, often drunk tourist from not exclusively but mostly aimed at the British: Guri. Guri is a word that is meant to be a little offensive but in true British style has been accepted and even embraced by those who know its meaning. I had, up to this point, tried to avoid looking like a typical guri but the people I was introduced to on this day were just this.

The two people who lived and worked in Valencia introduced me to their other co-workers who were all: already drunk in the early afternoon, sunburnt and drinking jugs of sangria at a beachside bar. There is no problem with this until you realise this group of young guri’s were all teachers in a national English academy. It was through this group that I was first told about the Berlitz School of language. I knew teaching English was a popular job for English speakers living in Spain but I had never really seen myself doing it, partly because of dyslexia and partly due to my lack of qualifications. Meeting this group of young teachers put the thought in my mind.

I was on the beach with the group as they continued to drink, I told Atlas and her friend of the hostel pub crawl which they were immediately up for and I was eager to introduce them to as it meant that I could stop spending so much money at the beach. We got a taxi back into the city centre and met up with the crawl on their way to the 3rd bar. We followed them around a few bars and then to one of Valencia’s largest, most popualar nightclubs: Akuarela. Atlas lost her friend and therefore her place to stay and hence ended up sleeping on a single, top bunk bed in a room with three other girls in the room and me. Once again, by chance, “just being friends” hadn’t worked.

The #controversial yet #spectacular #cityofartsandsciences in #Valencia

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Cycle to the Mountains

#Cycling to #Nàquera #Valencia #Spain past the #Mountains

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I was extremely healthy while I was in Valencia. In my consistent attempts to keep myself occupied I often found myself going on long runs in the extreme heat or long walks to far off beaches. Because I didn’t really have the money to eat excessively and the hostels 8 hobs and no oven were often being fought over, I ate simply and not in great amounts. Valencia is a city which encourages fitness: The nine kilometre Jardines del Turia or Park Rio is constantly full of runners and even has a runner rush hour between 6:00 and 7:00 in the evening. The closest beach, Playa de la Malvarrosa which is 6 or 7 Kilometres from the centre gives you a target to walk or run to and instant refreshment when you dive into the sea. Valencia is also one of the most bike friendly cities in Spain as it is nearly entirely flat and has bike lanes going to its every corner, even leading out of the city along the coast, past “the locals beach” Playa de Pinedo, towards Albufera natural park (Which I will talk about on a later date).


No cycle lanes seemed to go northwards out the city and the mountains to the north intrigued me. You can see distant mountains in every direction from Valencia and those to the North of the city are closest. Early in June, I decided I was going to use my discount with a bike rental company the hostel I worked for recommended to patrons, and decided to cycle towards a specific town I picked out on a map which looked like it was at the foot of the mountains. I told another of the staff members of my plan and she said she would like to come too; an Italian girl who often worked on reception with me. We set off in the morning on our inner-city bikes which really weren’t meant for long distance rides. The start of our journey was very slow as we made our way between a few fields and back lanes that had been suggested online. Eventually we reached a well paved road that wasn’t too busy and began to speed towards the mountains. The town ended up not being at the foot of the mountains but very much within them. The gradual incline turning into a steep incline coinciding with the full heat of midday pressing down on us sapped energy. However the latter part of this journey also had a wide cycle lane as the route was very popular with large groups of regular cyclists who gave us very strange looks as they passed us, lycra clad on their expensive road bikes. We, on our rented inner city bikes reveled in our amateurism. The journey was nice, the roads weren’t too busy and the crops we passed were bountiful and floral. The approaching mountains gave a dramatic backdrop to our journey and sun was once again on full blaze. Eventually we cycled up to a big sign set in concrete: Nàquera.

The entrance to #Nàquera #Cycling #Valencia #Spain #Mountains

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Time to Relax

#MercadoDeColon #Valencia #Spain #modernism

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So my first few weeks in Valencia were a blast, I had many friends in the hostel, a few outside including a German girl who I watched the German world cup triumph with, and generally the good times overshadowed some lingering annoyances. By my third week living and working in the hostel all of the people who had arrived in Valencia at the same time as me had moved on and I found it harder to integrate into the new groups staying in the hostel. Also, the little annoyances such as the lack of privacy, almost unusable internet and having to work 10 hour nightshifts nagged at me more. I now wasn’t so distracted from missing Atlas who I still spoke to a lot, so at the end of my third week In Valencia I decided to go see her in Madrid for a day.

I got a BlaBlaCar there and back and it was nice to get out the hostel for a while. We had no big nights out or bike races this time, we mostly just relaxed and walked around the Malasana district occasionally stopping for a 3 euro bucket of beer. We hadn’t exactly succeeded in the just friends department and this kept Atlas at the forefront of my mind on the way back.

When I got back to Valencia, instead of feeling down I felt reenergised. Up until this point I had tried to constantly fill my time with exploring, drinking, partying and activities, however my relaxing time in Madrid made me realise that I needed to do just that, stop acting like a tourist and just chill out. I love writing and reading but up until that point I never had really been one to go to a bar or café and sit down with a book or a pen. Around about this time I started a habit that I would continue throughout my travels. I tried out a few places before I came across what to this day is one of my favourite places in Valencia. Macardo de Colon (Columbus market) is an early 20th century modernist building full of small cafes and bars. Despite having lots of different places to sit and drink inside it’s very open, light and a beautiful place to sit and relax. For the rest of my time in Valenicia I went to the Macardo Colon to sit and read or write over a coffee or beer and felt very Mediterranean.

The end of my first month in Valencia came about and I was payed my measly 100 euros. I know a lot of hostels don’t pay their staff and only provide accommodation but these 100 euros meant that I had made a net loss of around 300 euros since arriving in Spain, leaving me with only around 600 to play with. Well I say 600, that was all overdraft money. This meant that if I was honestly going to stay in Spain and enjoy myself I needed to find different work and so the search for work, once again, began.

#MercadoDeColon #Valencia #Spain a place for #Writing #Reading #Relaxing

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